An actual(ish) conversation:

You should actually read this because parts of it are funny.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stop hiding from me.
I'm not hiding.
-.-...yes, you are.
I had to work today, and I didn't get off until way later than I was supposed to, and I was really stressed about all the things that have been going on, and...yeah. Sorry I wasn't able to pick up the phone.
I'm not talking about avoiding me, or not being able to pick up the phone; you are hiding from me.
Oh, that. Yeah.
I hate it when you hide from me. Would you please stop?
I'm not just hiding from you. I'm hiding from everyone. My head is spinning and splitting in half.
[Insert full name here], I am not everyone.
I know, but my shields are kinda...on autopilot right now.
I'm worried about you.
I'm fine.
...Like hell you are.
You know the response to this.
Did you seriously just tell me that I know the response to something in a conversation I'm having with you by myself?
Yep, because you do.
Do you see the face I am making right now?
No, because technically, I'm not really there.
Stop trying to change the subject.
I am safe, for now. I know you don't like that answer
But it's the best I'm going to get. Fine. Just promise me that you'll call me, eh?
I always do.
I mean on the phone.
You're in London, I can't do that
Yes you can. You have skype.
Skype messes up my computer.
How the heck is it that you can frustrate me even in a one-sided conversation?
^.^ Hi.
Just call me.
Perhaps. If I really need to, I will.
Don't think I don't see the loopholes in that, but I'm too sleepy to argue.
Sleep well dear.
God Bless, meaniehead.