Being a grownup sucks.

Still love being in London.

Today, I had a meeting with my adviser, and she asked me the following question:

"What are you planning on doing next year?"

O_O

...Let's see. What am I planning on doing next year. (What am I planning on doing next year?)

A: Hell if I know!

And then, I realized that it's October, and applications for anywhere I want to go are due in December, and that while being in the MRes program means that I can just stay on and get my PhD here, I don't HAVE to do that, in fact, I don't have to do anything. I can work, I can go to school anywhere in the world that I want to, I can do both, I can do nothing (although we all know that's not actually a viable option for me), I theoretically could meet someone and that would throw off any plans that I possibly have...but wait...I don't have any plans! I, Stephanie Leanne Dietz, have no plans past July 2010. I don't know if I'm going to love or hate London, if I want to stay here, or possibly go to school somewhere close to home, I don't know if I even want to stay on for school (I mean, I want to get my doctorate, but do I want to/should I do that NOW, or should I get some work experience first; I don't know!). And, if I do want to go to school somewhere in the States, will the fact that my Masters degree will not be confirmed until October mess up any of those plans, I don't know! I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I don't know and I'm freaking out, because I'm 21, and I feel super young, and I'm def by far the youngest person here, and everyone here has a family, or has been working somewhere for forever, or is like 45 and making a career change, or whatever and I'm just...

BLARGH.

###