Tonight, my heart is heavy. You see, I have two friends, both very dear to me. The first I have known almost my whole life, the second just a while, but it has been long enough.

My first dear friend broke last week. She stopped eating and drinking for over a week because she genuinely thought it the will of God. By the grace of this same God, she was committed to a mental hospital, where the doctors have primarily diagnosed her with depression with psychotic tendencies. She has been there a week, where she still has not eaten any solid food, and is not sleeping. I am so worried about her that I can barely stand it.

My second friend, upon hearing this news, honestly told me that it sounded like a nice vacation. This friend was not trying to hurt me or anything, for you see, he claims he is already broken. That's where broken people go -- to the mental hospital.

Never before have I felt so alone.

Have you ever wanted to cry and just found that you couldn't?

I'm awake.

Again.

This is getting ridiculous. Again.

I'm considering making full use of my NHS status while here and getting a sleep study run. Something.

Lyrics speak louder than words

I cannot remember the last time I wrote in my journal. My spirit as of late has just felt so...dead. It's like I've been placed in a holding pattern, and I'm just waiting for something to burst forth any minute now.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere

I want it more than I can tell

And for once it might be grand

To have someone...understand

I want so much more than they've got planned.