Who needs closet monsters when you have the phrase "if only"?

While I am definitely back and feeling better than I did on that damn medicine, tonight I feel very guilty.

My friend went into the hospital for dehydration yesterday. I did not find out about it until today. She is one of my very best friends, and I should have known that not hearing from her in a week meant something was wrong. In fact, I did know, and I did nothing about it. I just posted a measly comment on her wall that I missed her. If I had called her, like I should have, I would have known that she wasn't doing well, and could have helped. I essentially let her be sick alone in her house for an entire week, and I did nothing, knowing in my heart that something was wrong, because I couldn't get over myself enough to call her and see how she was. This was something preventable, and I did nothing, because that fucking stupid medication made me so damned depressed I didn't care to do anything.

Dehydration is something that she will recover from. Her kidneys did not shut down. Her sodium levels are coming back down, and I know she will learn from this. I'm just so mad at myself tonight.

In other news, I will not be going back on that medication. Ever.